God wanted me, and not my money
Finally! If you've ever scribbled out a pledge card on "Stewardship Sunday" and ran away, parishioner Andrew Lawton gives voice to the reluctance you may have felt -- as well as to the pleasure you may have experienced in the weeks and months in which you made good on that scary commitment. Read on...
I sat in the pew and looked at the card. I looked and I started to sweat. I don’t like committing myself to anything. I don’t like giving my money away. I especially don’t like the combination. But there I sat and thought. I tried to reason around. I tried a little bit of last minute prayer. But I was met with silence and the truth of what I already knew. I already knew that God desires we give and that we be generous. I already knew that we are to trust God with our whole lives -- even our monies. What I didn’t know was how hard that trust was coming, how little I had. And so I sat.
And then finally, in the fading moment, I scribbled my pledge down and ran out.
Perhaps I’m not the best to talk about stewardship and joyful giving. There was no joy in my pledging, only reluctance. But, if there is anyone else like me, maybe I can offer encouragement. There was no joy in my pledging, but there has been a growing pleasure, a growing happiness in my giving. I’m not sure I can explain it. I can only say that in the face of all my reluctance, God was pushing me into something good, into something wonderful. God was pushing me into blessing.
I encourage you to pledge, to take up your stewardship, to join in and give -- all these things that so scare me -- you should do! I am so grateful I did. I am so happy, even though I can take no responsibility for my choice! And while I am sure the monies I have let go are being used to do good, I am suspicious that this was really all just another ploy. God wanted me, and not my money. God wanted to me have something better. God desires to bless over and again. And so God pushes and pulls until we stumble into life.